There is a popular Reddit theory that came to light recently. Apparently, Captain America is owed roughly 3 million in backpay for his time in service. It makes sense, and the Army showed that it understood both comics and fandom by actually addressing this issue:

"If Capt. Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) were not a fictional character and the circumstances surrounding his disappearance and recovery actually real, he may actually be entitled to receive back pay…However, a wide variety of variables would have to be taken into consideration to actually calculate the true amount of back pay to which he would be entitled to receive; given that he is a fictional character we cannot truly capture all of those variables accurately."

I loved it, and good job to the Army for not leaving folks hanging but, being veterans ourselves we figured we'd have some fun and address some issues we see, as veterans, with Captain America.

Captain America was enlisted.

I believe in the movie they addressed this and promoted him from Private to O3 (which is something that never occurs,) but in the comics, he was a private and enlisted. I don't ever recall him attending OCS. Private America doesn't sound as cool though.

He doesn't have a Ranger tab.

Cap doesn't quit very often. He pushes his limits consistently, and those are very Ranger traits. Cap seems like a Ranger to me. One would assume he'd ask for that school or someone from the Army would recognize his talents and award him with a tab. I mean they already gave him that free title of Captain. I think fighting the Red Skull and actual Nazis with only a shield for so many years, he has earned that tab.

Not once has Cap been walking down the street and screamed at someone to "fix your beret, douche!"

It is almost a reflex at this point for most of us. Just seeing a beret even slightly messed up makes my eye twitch. Cap wouldn't be caught dead doing this.

Captain America has never drunk a beer in the shower on a Friday.

I checked, and he hasn't. Most of us vets couldn't wait for Friday's safety brief so that we could get off work and drink skunky beer in the shower. It is a very Joe thing to do. Cap doesn't do it.

Cap doesn't wear a PT Belt.

This is perhaps my biggest problem here. How can you have super powers if you don't wear a power belt? In the army we need these to do PT, as well as: march 25 miles, ride a motorcycle in your off hours, go to the PX, wax a floor, sweep, breathe and of course to "Go get a canteen then fill it up then meet your squad leader out front." Not once has Captain America worn a PT belt or strapped one across his shield. What gives, Cap? Don't you value safety?

The truth is, we love Captain America.

Okay so maybe he isn't a real-life soldier because he's never spent a Saturday doing push-ups after losing his Nightvision Optics Device (NODs) in the field. He's never spent his entire paycheck on beer, and he would probably not consider marrying a stripper. However, he's an excellent hero and always been a fantastic tribute to all of us soldiers who have served.

We also love our soldiers and first responders.

We figured this would be a fun way to announce that Green Machine Comics will always offer a discount to our servicemen and servicewomen, police, fire, and EMTs. It's our first-responder discount, and if you tackle any of these brave jobs, we're happy to help you save money on comics. Consider buying Captain America or Avengers comics with us when we open in August. :)

Author image
Strapped to the hood of the Batmobile Website